Move or Stay?

     There only a few things more devastating for older people than having to move out of their own home.  An overwhelming majority of elders say they want to remain in their homes for as long as possible.  Whether they can stay or more depends on  many things, but the subject alone is sure to cause much anxiety for everyone involved.  Either way, you should make a plan.  These are some of the options available:

• Stay in the home.  If your parent is physically and mentally fit and can manage their own well being, no need to uproot.  If there is any illness, many resources are available, such as in home care, to assist your loved ones with daily tasks.
• Age restricted rental apartments.  This is a great option for independent and healthy people who want to socialize with other adults.  Some of these communities offer gardens, cafes, housekeeping and handyman services.  the apartments are specifically designed for comfort and include important modifications such as wide doorways, emergency buttons and bathroom grab bars.
• Assisted living residence.  This option offers a combination of housing, supportive services and personalized assistance.  Meals, housekeeping, medication supervision and transportation are among the amenities offered.

     If your loved one does decide and is able to stay in the home, there are many small changes you can make to keep them safe.

• Elevated toilet seat
• Illuminated light switches
• Universal remote controls
• Non breakable glasses and dishes
• And much more  (If you would like a more detailed list, please email me at info@lilyhomecare.com)

     If your family decides that assisted living is the best option, there are many things to consider and lots of questions you should ask.

• Ask for every policy and agreement in writing
• Ask about medication management
• Ask to meet an onsite resident
• Ask about staff licensing and qualifications
• And much more  (If you would like a more detailed list, please email me at info@lilyhomecare.com)

No matter which option you and your loved ones choose, it's very important to do your research, ask the right questions and assure happiness and safety.

Choosing the right home care agency for you or your loved one.

What is home care?

A home care agency  provides services that do not require a licensed professional or a physician's prescription. A home care worker can help a person with activities like remembering to take medications; preparing meals; transferring from chair, toilet or bed; bathing; getting dressed; light housekeeping or transportation to and from doctors' appointments. A home care worker can also provide companionship to an older adult or an adult with a disability - engaging in a favorite hobby, watching movies or simply conversing. 

What to ask?

When you interview a home care agency, there are a number of important questions to ask:

1. May I see a sample service agreement?
2. How do you supervise and oversee the care provided by your caregivers?
3. Are your services covered by long-term care insurance and will you process the paperwork?
4. Are the caregivers your employees?
5. Who is responsible for paying taxes and Social Security for the caregivers?
6. What type of training do your employees receive when they’re hired? 
7. Do you conduct criminal background checks on your employees and are they bonded?
8. How long have most of your employees worked for you?
9. What is the background of your average caregiver?
10. How do you ensure that the caregiver and the person receiving care will be compatible?
11. Please describe how workers have been trained to communicate with people who have cognitive disabilities such as dementia.
12. Can you put me in touch with someone who has used your services?

Just remember

• A home care agency provides non-medical services that ease the burden of caring at home for an older adult or an adult with a disability.
• A home care worker can provide everything from companionship to assistance with daily activities such as transferring, bathing, dressing, meal preparation, medication reminders and light housekeeping.
• Home care services are not covered by Medicare. They may, however, be covered by long-term care insurance and - depending on your situation.

Why do your parents refuse help?

It happens so often.  You see that mom or dad need extra help.  Maybe the house isn't being cleaned as much or the mail isn't being opened.  They don't want to cook or eat much any more.  So you do the right thing and step up to help.  We all have busy lives and when you offer to bring in a caregiver, the answer you hear most often is:  "I don't need any help.  I'm doing fine".

The best approach to a parent who refuses help is to back off and look at the situation from a different perspective.  Most often your parents assume that if they tell you something is wrong, you will want to help and try to solve the problem.  In their eyes your help may lead to disruption of your life, loss of their driving privileges or a move outside of their home.  They fear that once they start getting help, nothing will be the same any more.

You probably hear things like:  "Stop worrying, this happens to everybody my age" or "I've been taking care of myself for years and I'm still here.  I'll call you if I need help."  To some of our parents, aging means a loss of independence, relinquishing the role as head of the family, and becoming a burden on the kids.  It can also mean a constant battle to maintain their privacy and control of their future.  Although changes may be necessary for their health and safety, to your parents these changes may seem dis-heartening, disorienting, and humiliating.  You can help prevent that by doing some of the following:
     Plan your actions and ideas thoroughly.  Try to provide alternated plans to ease the anxiety and provide comfort.
     Talk to your parents before you make any changes.  Explain that your decision is only due to your concern for health and safety.  Don't force any issues.  Try to talk through them and be as sympathetic as possible.  This is a big deal to them.
     Present your parents with options.  This will give them a sense of control.  Bring in a caregiver for your parents to meet.  Let them chose who they like and don't like.  If your parents feel in control, they will be more likely to cooperate.

Happy Hanukkah!

We just wanted to take the opportunity to wish all of our Jewish friends a very happy Hanukkah!